The Secrets Of Effective Networking

By: William S. Frank

Listen 80% and talk 20%. Personal meetings should be interactive, like tennis; but in general, others would rather talk than listen. Therefore, give them your full attention. Listening builds trust and says, "I care about you." If you're having trouble getting hired, try listening 50% more.

Yet there is a time to talk about yourself. Sooner or later, your host will say, "Tell me about yourself," "Why are you here?" or "How can I help you?" When that happens, take twenty seconds--not twenty minutes--to answer.

Walk in prepared. Know what you want. Never enter a meeting without knowing why you're there. You'll waste your time, waste your contact's time, and look unprofessional. Show up unprepared too often and word will get around that you lack focus. No one will want to talk to you.

Key questions to ask. One goal of networking is to get referrals, but how do you ask for names? You can be too direct and put others off. You can be too vague, and come away empty handed. So what do you say?

In general, it's better to be subtle and indirect rather than blunt. "Can you give me the names of your friends?" might put your host on the defensive; the answer may be no. "Who else should I be talking to?" is far less threatening and will elicit the names of friends and key contacts anyway.

If you're wondering what else to ask in a networking session, try these on for size: How does my resume look? What would you change or modify? Are my letters crystal clear? Do you have any advice or ideas for me? Who else should I be talking to? Are there any groups or organizations I should attend? Are there any books or publications I should read? What would you do if you were me? Who would you be talking to?

How to end
When appropriate, establish a next step: a phone call, follow-up meeting, something to be mailed. If you end with no next step, you miss the chance to involve this person in your campaign--possibly a big mistake.

Tell people you value their suggestions and plan to take action on them. Say, for example, "I'll call the people you recommended and read the articles you suggested. Then I'll check back in a week or so to let you know what happened."

This approach lets the person know you take them seriously. It cements the relationship. In addition, it makes this person a more permanent part of your network, not just a passing face. If you handle it right, you can call later for further help.

Don't make the mistake of contacting people only once. Your search will never build momentum. As you meet technical experts and business leaders, become a friend to them, and they'll likely return the friendship.

Your contact network should always be growing, not shrinking. The best way to expand it is to seek out new people and build relationships. It doesn't really matter who you choose, so long as you like them, they like you, and you can help each other.